What 400+ Weddings Have Taught Me About Love

I've spent more than a decade photographing weddings.

Over 400 of them.

I've listened to hundreds of vows.

Heard hundreds of speeches.

Watched people laugh, cry, celebrate and promise forever.

I've seen relationships at their beginning.

I've seen couples who have been together for decades.

I've seen families come together.

I've seen families fall apart.

And after all of it, I've realised something.

Love is much bigger than a wedding day.

Before Weddings, I Thought Love Looked Like This

Long before I became a wedding photographer, I was fascinated by love.

From a young age, I wanted to be a husband and a father.

I never really cared much about partying or chasing excitement.

I was more interested in finding someone to build a life with.

Even back then, I believed something that I still believe today:

The secret to long-term love is falling in love with each other over and over again.

Not because people change.

But because they do.

Life changes us.

Parenthood changes us.

Success changes us.

Failure changes us.

Time changes us.

The people standing at the end of an aisle on their wedding day won't be the same people ten years later.

And that's okay.

The goal isn't to find someone who never changes.

The goal is to keep choosing each new version of each other as life unfolds.

The Happiest Couples Aren't Perfect

One thing weddings have taught me is that happy couples don't necessarily have fewer problems.

They communicate better.

They understand that a healthy relationship isn't just about the relationship itself.

It's also about the individuals inside it.

The strongest couples I've seen create space for:

• themselves as individuals
• themselves as a couple
• their family if they have children

All three matter.

When one of those areas gets neglected, things tend to drift out of balance.

The happiest relationships aren't built on perfection.

They're built on intention.

Hollywood Gets Love Wrong

Movies tend to focus on the highlights.

The first kiss.

The dramatic fight.

The grand gesture.

The happily ever after.

But they skip over the part where real love actually lives.

The middle.

The ordinary Tuesday.

The school pickups.

The grocery shopping.

The quiet nights on the couch.

The routine.

The repetition.

The comfort.

That's where most relationships spend their lives.

And in my experience, that's where the strongest love exists too.

Social Media Gets It Wrong Too

Social media often shows us the highlight reel.

The holiday.

The anniversary dinner.

The perfect photo.

But real relationships aren't built in those moments.

They're built in the conversations nobody sees.

The compromises.

The support.

The challenges.

The growth.

The things that happen when the camera is put away.

What happens outside the phone screen is infinitely more important than what gets posted online.

The Most Beautiful Vows Aren't About Romance

After hearing hundreds of vows, I've noticed a pattern.

People rarely talk about grand romantic gestures.

Instead, they talk about growth.

How their partner inspired them.

How they became a better person.

How they feel more excited about life because they're walking through it together.

The best vows aren't really about love.

They're about gratitude.

The Moments That Affect Me Most

There are two moments that get me every time.

The first is when parents are mentioned in vows.

Particularly when couples talk about becoming parents themselves and how it changed them.

The second is hearing a bride's father speak positively about the groom.

As a father, those moments hit differently now.

There's something incredibly powerful about watching someone trust another person with the most important thing in their world.

I don't think I'll ever stop getting emotional during those moments.

The Best Families Aren't Always The Ones You're Born Into

This is one of the hardest lessons weddings have taught me.

Not every family is supportive.

Not every family is healthy.

Not every family is loving.

I've seen couples who couldn't wait to start the next chapter of their lives together because of what they were leaving behind.

I've also seen incredible friendships become family.

The older I get, the more I believe this:

Sometimes the best family is the family you choose.

The Couples I Remember Most

The weddings I remember aren't necessarily the biggest.

Or the most expensive.

Or the most beautiful.

They're the weddings where the couple can't stop looking at each other.

As photographers, we're constantly observing.

Watching.

Listening.

Waiting.

One of my favourite things is hearing what couples say to each other between photos.

Those quiet conversations.

Those little compliments.

Those moments when they think nobody is paying attention.

Many times, the portrait session is the only chance they get to be alone together all day.

And it's beautiful watching them use that time to genuinely appreciate each other.

Love Is More Than A Wedding Day

Perhaps the biggest lesson weddings have taught me is this:

A marriage has very little to do with a wedding.

The wedding lasts one day.

The marriage is everything that comes after.

That's why shared values matter.

Communication matters.

Asking difficult questions matters.

Understanding each other's dreams matters.

The wedding is the beginning.

Not the destination.

After 400+ Weddings, I've Learned That Love Is...

More than a wedding day.

It's a commitment to a lifelong journey of growing together through life's challenges.

Not because everything will be easy.

But because you've chosen someone worth facing those challenges with.

If My Daughter Asked Me The Secret To A Happy Relationship

I'd tell her something simple.

Fall in love with each other over and over and over again.

Never stop dating.

Never stop being curious about each other.

Never assume you know everything about the person beside you.

Because the people we love are constantly growing.

And if we're lucky, we get the privilege of growing alongside them.

That's what love looks like to me.